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Monday, August 14th, 2006
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10:31 am - i'm still alive!!
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Lately, things have been exciting. Went to the beach for a week, which was awesome except for a few minor details....but Brent and I had a wonderful time being together for a week straight. We went and met up with his sister and brother-in-law and Cadence and went to dinner and played putt-putt. Man, I love that kid. She is so freakin cute. We also got to go parasailing and the water park. :) It was a much needed vacation.
This past Saturday was the craziest day of my life. Brent and I finally went skydiving. It was such a rush...I want to go back asap. Everyone should try this at least once. I will post pictures as soon as I get them loaded. Go and do it!!!!!
5 weeks from this Wednesday, I will be gone!
Ok, that's it.
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| Thursday, June 15th, 2006
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12:21 pm - teenage years are over
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Brent threw me a surprise birthday Monday, we had a blast. My friends are awesome.
I am turning 20 on Sunday. I'm kinda excited, but then it's kinda weird.
:) I have a feeling it's going to be a good birthday.
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| Monday, June 5th, 2006
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9:57 pm
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my africa trip is coming along. i still have a butt load of money to raise, but i'm sure it will work out.
i'm done with school next thursday. yay!! then i will only have one online class until i leave for my trip. still working at the boring job, but hopefully, after i get back, i can get a job i enjoy, even if it doesn't pay as well.
brent and i have had to push the potential wedding date back due to the fact that we can't get engaged until after he gets completely out of masters. it was a shocker, but it makes sense now that i think about everything he would have to miss if we were engaged while he was still in MC. so we are just planning on having a very short engagement, because we can't wait to start our lives together. it seems like forever until next fall.
we went to look at "house stuff" tonight. it's one of our favorite things to do. i love that store whrapsody (or however you spell it) in patton creek. they have some really creative stuff that i want really bad for our house.
eemeli leaves on friday to go back to finland. he came over tonight, and it made me realize how much i am going to miss my brother when he is gone for the whole summer. :(
11 months next friday....then it's my birthday on fathers day!!!! i'll be 20. no more teenage years. that is weird.
that's enough for now. i'm tired.
current mood:  giddy
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| Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
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10:43 pm - i got accepted!!!
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I will officially be leaving on September 20th to go to Africa until December 13th. i will be working with orphans and living with the people in Swaziland which is a country in South Africa.
i am stoked.
but, alas, there is a down side. a part of me will still be here...starting his 3rd year in Masters. i will miss him terribly. :(
current mood:  so tired
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| Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
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11:41 pm - i hate religion, and fakeness
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stupid church directory. and stupid numbers. and stupid "taking role". and stupid interfering with the Holy Spirit by being too woried about stupid religious practices.
Pharisees.
that's about it for now.
current mood:  whatever...
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| Sunday, April 16th, 2006
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10:52 pm - big weekend
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thursday, brent and i went to see my aunt. we ministered to her and prayed for her. she looked awful, and was crying because of the pain. it was an emotional visit. we also had lunch with my cousin and went to visit with my grandma.
thursday afternoon, we drove to fairhope and stayed with sally and my 2nd family. we dyed eggs and went boat riding and went shopping and had lots of fun.
this morning, i was mary in the illustrated sermon at kingwood. brent was the "repentent man" (or however you spell repentent). it was a really awesome sermon. then, we went to his cousins baby's 1st birthday, which was really cute.
tonight, we got a phone call from my cousin. my aunt died tonight. i haven't soaked it in yet. we were at my house (scott, jenny, brent and i) playing a card game. i was icing a cake for our desert. i cried some, and had to soak it in. but, i am so thankful that brent and i got to see her one last time, and that we got to pray for her and minister to her. i have good memories of her.
pray for my cousin. she is taking it really badly.
current mood: tired
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| Monday, March 6th, 2006
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10:43 pm
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you know what makes me mad?
people that talk so bad about other people to me, then go and are nice to them to their face. i mean geez, make up your mind. don't be hypocritical about it, just be yourself. i guess i could look in the mirror when i say that, but i have really been working on what comes out of my mouth, and God has been gradually changing me. now, when i hear or see someone else do it, it just irks me.
ok, enough about that.
i hate the devil. he's attacking so many people that are very close to my heart right now, and i want to make everything better but i know i can't. it just hurts me when i see the people i love have so much pain and stress and sadness in their eyes.
uggghhhh....brent and i aren't going to see each other for 2 weeks straight. yeah, half a month. that is a long time. i know we will both be blessed on our trips and that God is going to work on and in us, it's just the thought of not having my best friend around for that long makes me really sad :( life keeps going, though, huh?
mexico=1 week, 5 days :)
and school ends the day before i leave. but before that i have-tablescapes, 2 art projects, finals, a flash project, my bro's b'day and my dad's b'day, mine and brent's 8 month anniversary, packing for mexico...i think that's it...but good lord, i am going to be so busy.
current mood:  artsy
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| Friday, October 28th, 2005
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4:53 pm
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well, my brent is the greatest. but, who didn't know that??
"i love you more than playing guitar while watching auburn football"
"i love you more than painting"
"i love you more than finding a toy in the cereal box when you least expect it"
"i love you more than smores"
i'm just here...going to school and church and work. and falling and growing in love with the most unforgettable, indescribable, amazing person on the face of this earth.
i love life.
current mood:  happy
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| Friday, October 7th, 2005
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12:47 pm - you know you want to do this :)
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1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. If you want, I mean, I'm not gonna force you or anything.
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| Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
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5:17 pm - school and other stuff.
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I realized that after I wrote my last journal entry, I had forgotten to mention The Lion King. Holy crap....I've seen my share of broadways, but this was by far the best show I have ever seen. Not only was the music incredible, and the acting amazing, and the talent none like any I have ever seen, but I got to share all of it with my Brent. It was his first show. He fell in love with Broadway. Before we went, I had cooked dinner for him, and I have to say...it turned out really good. I made him this tomato basil pasta with shrimp, and then I made him chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. It was probably one of the best nights we have had together so far. Aren't we like the cutest couple ever??
I started school last night. I am taking English and Photoshop II. I have already made some new friends, and West Cherry is in my Photoshop class, so I'm happy. I was not happy, however, that I didn't get to go to the BarlowGirl concert. It was ok, though, because Brent came and got my CD and had them sign it for me, and he also called about 3 times and left me voice messages of them singing. He is so thoughtful.
Retreat this weekend-woohoo! I can't wait.
Alright, well, I'm off to church. I gotta be there early because I'm a big important staff member for the youth group. I got a special t-shirt and everything :)
current mood: grateful
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| Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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7:06 pm - wasted words
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Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices when the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
That word is so heavy. But so freeing when you use it the right way-the way God intended it to be used. I like the way the Message Bible says it "Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extragantly. And the best of the three is love." Love extravagantly. To me that means reckless abandonment love. My mom has talked to me about it. She says that she prays that one day I will find someone to have that kind of love with. A love that no matter what comes up, through the worst of times, you keep falling. You abandon every ounce of human nature that tells you that you have been hurt, or you aren't good enough, and you love with a kind of love that can only be placed in you from God.
I hate more than anything that I used that word when I didn't know what it meant. It left my lips with no meaning behind it. But, that is the past. I am finding out what love really is. I hope one day to understand it because I don't yet. But, the more I let God guide my relationship, the more I find out about the true meaning of love and what it means to love someone.
I want to keep falling. I want to look into his eyes and fall with him
current mood:  loved
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| Sunday, July 31st, 2005
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4:51 pm - he called it "the perfect date"
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So, I went to pick him up on Wednesday. Put a blindfold around his eyes. And took him to Oak Mtn. to the top of the mountain.
"How bout we're the best couple in the world?...Let someone tell me I don't have the greatest girlfriend in the whole universe, and see what happens"-he says, still blindfolded, holding my hand.
I had packed a picnic, set it up, led him out of the car..."You can take your blindfold off now". He removes his blindfold...."Oh WOW....Oh my gosh". He wraps me up in his arms. We are overlooking the whole city. I wouldn't trade that moment for anything.
After our picnic, we walked down to Peavine Falls. And...well, ended up in the waterfall...
He said it was the perfect date. Oh, he is so wonderful. I'm almost scared about falling so fast, but I have a peace I've never felt before.
I'm positive I have the greatest boyfriend ever.
current mood: happy
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| Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
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1:23 pm - Ephesians 3:16-20
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"I pray that from your glorious, unlimited resources you will give me mighty inner strength through your Holy Spirit. And I pray that you, Christ, will be more and more at home in my heart as I trust in you. May my roots go down deep into the soil of your marvelous love, God. And may I have the power to understand, as all your people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep your love really is. May I experience the love of Christ, though it is so great I will never fully understand it. Then I will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from you, God. Now, glory be to you, God. By your mighty power at work within me, you are able to accomplish infinitely more than I should ever dare to ask or hope."
I'm so tired of not learning anything myself and just taking what other people say about the Bible or about God as truth. I have been reading the Bible alot lately, and there is so much I never knew. This letter, written by Paul while he was a prisoner in Rome, spoke to me so much- "infinitely more than we should ever dare to ask or hope"-says to me that we could ask for anything, and God is going to bless us beyond anything we can imagine. And I want so badly to experience the love of Christ. I know I can't grasp it or begin to understand it, but I want to experience it. It's the burning desire in my heart right now.
"Lord I remember when I called your name
You came to my rescue even though I was to blame
So I whisper your name..Jesus
I called your name..Jesus
I whispered your name..Jesus
I called your name
One day it hit me, then I understood
That you're good and I'm not
You're all that I've got
You're all that I'm not, Lord
So I whisper your name..Jesus
I called your name..Jesus
I whispered your name..Jesus
I called your name
You looked at me when no one else did
Impossible, but you did it again
You looked past my faults
Saw that I, I needed you
So I, so I
I whisper your name..Jesus
I called your name..Jesus
I whispered your name..Jesus
I called your name
Jesus, Jesus
There's just something about that name
Master, Savior, Jesus
There's just something about that name"
current mood:  discontent
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| Monday, July 25th, 2005
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1:49 am - :D
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He is so great, my boyfriend. He got me a flower and a card this weekend for our "1 week". Ha..I felt like I was in middle school. It's so comfortable, yet challenging and exciting with him. He is one special fella, that Brent Harden...
God is so good. And that's all I have to say about that. My words aren't enough.
*Amber and Abi...I got you guys something...I think you're going to like it.*
current mood: tired
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| Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
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10:55 am - deep breaths
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My cousin called me on Thursday night. It was a big deal...no, a huge deal. She broke my heart when I was talking to her. My aunt is progressively getting worse, and she called to tell us that if we wanted to see her again, we needed to come down as soon as we could. She started telling me that she had no one to talk to, no friends, just her husband (which gets boring sometimes, I'm sure). She's younger than me and is married and has a baby. But, she is so lonely. I felt like driving down there just to give her a hug and tell her that I'm here. The things she told me just ripped my heart out. But, God is good, and He will get all the glory out of this situation. I know it.
Besides that, everything is fantastic. My friends are incredible, my family rocks my face off, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, and my Jesus continues to reveal himself to me and blesses me beyond my imagination.
current mood: cheerful
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| Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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1:10 am - It is true.
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| Friday, July 15th, 2005
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1:08 pm - 1st day of school
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This morning, I woke up at 4:50. Only God knows why. I had to go to work at 7, so needless to say, I was not pleased with this. And on top of that, I had one of the worst headaches that I've ever had in my life. So, I started to pray. My headache went away, but I still couldn't go back to sleep. Today is the day I have been waiting on since Saturday night. By the time I got through praying, the sun was rising and the light was invading my room through the cracks of the blinds. It reminded me of the 1st day of school when I was little. I would wake up so early because I couldn't wait to get to school and see who was in my class and find out if I had a nice teacher. The light, the smells and the way I was curled up in my bed covers because the vent was blowing on me...for some reason, that's what it reminded me of.
Then, my mind started drifting.....to him. And I got that excited feeling all over. I tried to go ahead and put the scene together in my head, how I want everything to play out. I want to run into his arms and let him give me one of his awesome swinging hugs. I want to hold his hand and not let go until the night is over.
I know it probably won't happen the way I imagined it this morning, but I'm ok with that. My reality is better than a dream.
*Thank you Jesus. I want to praise you forever. That's all I have to say because you know my heart.
current mood:  ecstatic
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| Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
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10:07 pm - i'm amazed at how you love me
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Then he went with Sara into her little sitting room and they bade each other goodbye. Sara sat on his knee and held the lapels of his coat in her small hands and looked long and hard at his face.
"Are you learning me by heart, little Sara?" he said, stroking her hair.
"No," she answered. "I know you by heart. You are inside my heart." And they put their arms around each other as if they would never let each other go.
That's kinda like me and God right now.
"God went back and got the shaking little girl that was hiding under the bed and convinced her to come out. He unclenched her little fists and took her hand and placed it in his and answered her question. He held her and told her it was ok for her not to be tough. He would protect her. She didn't have to be strong. He told her she wasn't a rock but a child. An innocent child. His child. He didn't condemn her for anything but instead understood her and loved her! He told her she was special...like no other and that she had special gifts like no other. She knew his voice and trusted him. She could hear the pleasure He had for her in His voice and felt His delight in her as He talked. He was so gentle and loving she couldn't help but melt in His arms."
-Captivating
*2 more days*
current mood: loved
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| Monday, July 11th, 2005
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2:41 pm - my beautiful words aren't good enough.
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I really kinda wanted Dennis to show up. It wasn't even that scary. I was in Pleasant Grove, and the most that happened was the power went out for like 20 seconds. Bummer.
Everything is working out for me. God is blessing me and keeping me on track. I am starting to talk to him more and more and write to him again. I have missed it. Seems like I'm writing all the time now. But, even the most beautiful and elaborate words aren't good enough. They fall way too short. But, God sees my heart and knows where I'm at. And that's comforting.
I'm very apprehensive about all this. I feel like it's supposed to work like this, and that's what I'm scared of. Things are too smooth...going too well. I guess I should be thankful for that. This past week replays in my head all the time. I find myself smiling at absolutely nothing. His words echo in my ear. His passion for Jesus is overwhelming, but in a "I can't believe someone like that would like someone like me" kinda way.
-Jesus, please bless this. Keep my mind and my focus on you. Let us do things right so we can honor you every time we're together. And even when we're not. I want your perfect will for my life, nothing less. You amaze me. I love you with everything inside of me.-
:) :) :) :) :)
current mood: grateful
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| Sunday, July 10th, 2005
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2:13 am - you see flowers where they see weeds
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Man, my heart is overflowing. God has been so near the past few days. I'm glad I'm coming out of the desert. I can't quite feel Him there all the time, but I see how He is moving in my life, and it's so reassuring. I love this feeling.
So, I haven't gotten much sleep lately. I have been hanging out til really, really late every night this week. It's like I want to sleep, but the company I'm in keeps me and I refuse to go home. This person is such a blessing to me and has been for a long time. Like tonight, I was SO tired, but I knew that if I let it show he would want to take me home. Not because he didn't want to be with me, but because he genuinly cares about me. He loves Jesus so much. It makes him so much more attractive. I would have never thought...
"I really like you, Loriahn. I like you alot."
And then he sent me this...."It feels good to have a sweaty hand, haha...."
current mood: joyful
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